by Linda M. Manning, RN, LPC-S, RPT-S
Registered Nurse
Licensed Professional Counselor-Supervisor
Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor
From Halloween through New Years our stress is heightened because of an increase in shopping, parties, baking, family get-togethers, etc. These holiday times can be very enjoyable, difficult or both! Too much stress damages our health, relationships and overall well being. One of the first things that comes to mind during the holidays is that expectations are often unrealistic. We often want to do more than is possible. We add on extra things to accomplish onto our already overwhelming schedules. And we want everything to be perfect! Without realizing it we often project these feelings and false expectations onto our children. This takes a toll on our relationships as the stress of the extra activities during the holidays makes us exhausted and emotional.
To begin with, it is helpful to be aware of what your expectations are and to keep those realistic. What is it you expect and want? Acknowledge your feelings. The holidays can elicit many feelings from the past and present. People often have a mix of feelings both positive and negative. It is common to feel excitement, anticipation and hopefulness as well as disappointment, guilt, loneliness and depression. Allow yourself to be aware of these feelings and find a way to express them that is helpful and does not hurt yourself or others. Acknowledging your child’s feelings by clearly stating what those feelings are in a normal tone helps your child feel understood and experience feelings as a normal part of the human experience. Focus on problem solving under stressful circumstances rather than reacting emotionally. How you express your feelings will influence your child’s acceptance and expression of feelings. Keep in mind that acknowledging feelings does not mean you have to act on them.
Reach out to others, even if it is just to ask for a hug or for help. Social support is something we all need. Be careful not to disclose emotional information to friends that are not able to understand or accept what you are experiencing. Revealing too much may put you at risk of feeling guilty or embarrassed later. Seek those who can really accept you and help you.
Be realistic about what is really important. Learn to say “no” when you cannot do something without adding more stress to your routine. Keep the healthy habits that you may have. Don’t abandon your exercise routine or the few minutes you have for yourself in the morning. Stick to a routine as much as possible especially if you have young children in your household. Stress is reduced when a predictable routine for sleeping and eating can be maintained.
Plan ahead and do what you can in a timely fashion to avoid last minute rushing as much as possible. Take a breather if you need to. Always ask, what is more important? And how will this affect my relationships with my spouse and my children in the long run? Take the time to stop and really be in the moment with your child and spouse. Being fully present emotionally brings a heightened sense of satisfaction. This means keeping our thoughts from being stuck in the past or racing towards the future. It means not dividing our attention into doing too much at once. Young children are present in the here and now and do not interpret why their parent seems distracted, tense or even angry. If the adult is just trying to do too many things at once, the child will see that as not being interested in them and therefore not caring. Attention and love are synonymous to children. Set aside at least 30 minutes to be present with your child without distractions or interruptions. Build lasting happy memories associated with the holidays.
With so much going on and so much expected it is easy to become overly stressed and tense during this time of year. I hope this information and these few suggestions are helpful for you to improve your most valued relationships and your feeling of contentment during this holiday season and throughout the year. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
"Why See a Pediatric Dentist?"
by Dr. Gordon Strole, Jr.
If you use a pediatrician for your child’s health care, doesn’t it make sense to use a pediatric dentist for your child’s dental health? Pediatric dentists are trained in dental problems that are specific to children and adolescents and keep themselves informed and updated in the most recent advances in dental procedures for kids.
Children are not miniature adults. They have their own needs and conditions that the pediatric dentist specializes in. In addition, pediatric dentists are experienced and knowledgeable in how to make children feel comfortable and gain their cooperation. The pediatric dentist studies child psychology in order to understand the normal emotional and psychological growth and development of children. The office design and staff trainings are all geared toward working with children. Part of this extensive training includes providing quality dental care for physically and mentally disabled individuals.
Growth and development from infancy to adolescence is rapid and extensive and the child’s dental needs undergo changes during each developmental stage. I recommend a child’s first visit to be no later than age 18 months or even earlier if dental problems are noticed. The child goes through various psycho-social, physical and dental changes that the pediatric dental team is prepared to manage. This means that emerging problems can be caught early and treatment less extensive than waiting until the damage is irreversible. The pediatric dentist takes advantage of the child’s growth.
Even though many advances have been made in the practice of dentistry, prevention and early treatment are still the best defense against dental problems. Dental problems affect growth and development of the growing child in many ways. So just as you choose a pediatrician for your child’s medical care, be aware that the pediatric dentist is the best choice for your child’s dental care.
If you use a pediatrician for your child’s health care, doesn’t it make sense to use a pediatric dentist for your child’s dental health? Pediatric dentists are trained in dental problems that are specific to children and adolescents and keep themselves informed and updated in the most recent advances in dental procedures for kids.
Children are not miniature adults. They have their own needs and conditions that the pediatric dentist specializes in. In addition, pediatric dentists are experienced and knowledgeable in how to make children feel comfortable and gain their cooperation. The pediatric dentist studies child psychology in order to understand the normal emotional and psychological growth and development of children. The office design and staff trainings are all geared toward working with children. Part of this extensive training includes providing quality dental care for physically and mentally disabled individuals.
Growth and development from infancy to adolescence is rapid and extensive and the child’s dental needs undergo changes during each developmental stage. I recommend a child’s first visit to be no later than age 18 months or even earlier if dental problems are noticed. The child goes through various psycho-social, physical and dental changes that the pediatric dental team is prepared to manage. This means that emerging problems can be caught early and treatment less extensive than waiting until the damage is irreversible. The pediatric dentist takes advantage of the child’s growth.
Even though many advances have been made in the practice of dentistry, prevention and early treatment are still the best defense against dental problems. Dental problems affect growth and development of the growing child in many ways. So just as you choose a pediatrician for your child’s medical care, be aware that the pediatric dentist is the best choice for your child’s dental care.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Child's Play and Toys
by Linda M. Manning, RN, LPC-S, RPT-S
Registered Nurse
Licensed Professional Counselor-Supervisor
Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor
Children use play as an expressive language. It is a means of expression of what they experience and what they are exploring. Play is a central activity of childhood and is universal and natural to all children. It occurs at all times and in all places. Play also facilitates both physical and psychological development. Play crosses all language and ethnic barriers. If play is a language, then toys are like words.
Toys symbolically express what a child is experiencing or thinking. They give the child a way to communicate more complex feelings and ideas than they may be able to do with words. Children are more comfortable with symbolic expression through play, stories and pretend games than they are with sitting down and “talking it out”. Adults are comfortable sitting down to discuss a situation or issue at length. Children are not. Plato said “You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” This symbolic language can reveal what a child has experienced, the reactions and feelings to those experiences, what the child wishes, wants and needs and the child’s perception of self and others.
What kinds of toys are best for children? In the holiday season there are long lines and parents getting up very early in the morning to get THE toy that is all the rage. Children are influenced very easily by the commercials they watch. Up until the age of 8 years, children do not distinguish between commercials and entertainment programming. Advertisers know very well how to instill a desire to have a certain toy. They also know that parents want to please their children and see their joy on Christmas morning. Love and gift giving are interconnected in our minds. Too often; however, that perfect toy is abandoned after a short time and something else needs to take its place. But I digress. What types of toys are beneficial and useful to children in terms of development and symbolic expression through play?
Toys that the child can manipulate or use their own imagination with are toys that benefit growth and development the most. Electronic toys and games may be fun, but they do not afford the child any expression of their own imagination or creativity. Toys that require batteries and have an on-off switch will limit the child’s use of imagination, especially if the toy only does one thing when switched on. Toys that are spin-offs of movies or cartoons are also limiting for the child’s expression because the child will “play out” the movie or the role of that toy instead of imagining their own scenarios. This is not always the case; however, the tendency is to re-enact the character as it is in the movie or cartoon.
Toys can be classified into different categories, such as aggressive toys, nurturing toys, role-play or fantasy and mastery toys. Toys and spontaneous play are helpful for children to explore their environment, learn to problem solve, increase their creativity and flexibility and is a window to the child’s inner world. So there is purpose to child’s play and it’s also lots of fun!
Ruth Hartley, who co-authored The Fundamentals of Social Psychology with her husband, said, “To read the language of play is to read the hearts and minds of children.” Observing child’s play that is driven by the child, is like listening to them express their inner thoughts. Keep in mind that it is natural to play out many different types of themes and types of play that are developmentally normal. When choosing toys for your child, think about what your child can do with the toy, not what the toys does to entertain the child. Giving them a selection of toys that can be used to express a variety of emotions and experiences is useful. In addition, providing too many toys is overwhelming and not productive to the child’s development and well-being.
Registered Nurse
Licensed Professional Counselor-Supervisor
Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor
Children use play as an expressive language. It is a means of expression of what they experience and what they are exploring. Play is a central activity of childhood and is universal and natural to all children. It occurs at all times and in all places. Play also facilitates both physical and psychological development. Play crosses all language and ethnic barriers. If play is a language, then toys are like words.
Toys symbolically express what a child is experiencing or thinking. They give the child a way to communicate more complex feelings and ideas than they may be able to do with words. Children are more comfortable with symbolic expression through play, stories and pretend games than they are with sitting down and “talking it out”. Adults are comfortable sitting down to discuss a situation or issue at length. Children are not. Plato said “You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” This symbolic language can reveal what a child has experienced, the reactions and feelings to those experiences, what the child wishes, wants and needs and the child’s perception of self and others.
What kinds of toys are best for children? In the holiday season there are long lines and parents getting up very early in the morning to get THE toy that is all the rage. Children are influenced very easily by the commercials they watch. Up until the age of 8 years, children do not distinguish between commercials and entertainment programming. Advertisers know very well how to instill a desire to have a certain toy. They also know that parents want to please their children and see their joy on Christmas morning. Love and gift giving are interconnected in our minds. Too often; however, that perfect toy is abandoned after a short time and something else needs to take its place. But I digress. What types of toys are beneficial and useful to children in terms of development and symbolic expression through play?
Toys that the child can manipulate or use their own imagination with are toys that benefit growth and development the most. Electronic toys and games may be fun, but they do not afford the child any expression of their own imagination or creativity. Toys that require batteries and have an on-off switch will limit the child’s use of imagination, especially if the toy only does one thing when switched on. Toys that are spin-offs of movies or cartoons are also limiting for the child’s expression because the child will “play out” the movie or the role of that toy instead of imagining their own scenarios. This is not always the case; however, the tendency is to re-enact the character as it is in the movie or cartoon.
Toys can be classified into different categories, such as aggressive toys, nurturing toys, role-play or fantasy and mastery toys. Toys and spontaneous play are helpful for children to explore their environment, learn to problem solve, increase their creativity and flexibility and is a window to the child’s inner world. So there is purpose to child’s play and it’s also lots of fun!
Ruth Hartley, who co-authored The Fundamentals of Social Psychology with her husband, said, “To read the language of play is to read the hearts and minds of children.” Observing child’s play that is driven by the child, is like listening to them express their inner thoughts. Keep in mind that it is natural to play out many different types of themes and types of play that are developmentally normal. When choosing toys for your child, think about what your child can do with the toy, not what the toys does to entertain the child. Giving them a selection of toys that can be used to express a variety of emotions and experiences is useful. In addition, providing too many toys is overwhelming and not productive to the child’s development and well-being.
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